OET Letter Correction – Mr. Denton – Grade C+

ओईटी पत्र सुधार

Mr. Denton – Grade C+

अपना पत्र लिखते समय, आपको इसे परीक्षा के दिन की परिस्थितियों के अनुसार ही लिखना चाहिए। इसलिए, हमारा सुझाव है कि आप अपना पत्र आवश्यक समय के भीतर लिखें। फिर इसे वर्ड डॉक्यूमेंट में फिर से टाइप करें और हमें भेजें।

पत्र सुधार

12/04/06

Dr. Haley Moore,

Dermatologist,

15 High Street,

Perth,WA,6000.

Dear Dr. Moore,

Re: Mr. Andrew Denton,DOB: 13/08/89

Thank you for seeing my patient Mr. Denton,who has been demonstrating symptoms suggestive of infected acne for about 1 month.

  • No need for a comma

On 12/04/06, Mr, Denton came to my surgery with acne on face and rash.Although temp and BP were normal,mouth ulcers were also found.Please note, he enjoys fast food.On a more personal note of my patient,his parents were divorced 2 years back.After careful observations,I gave him advice about personal hygiene specially to eat healthy.Skin cleansers were also recommended.

  • The paragraph is not organized. You should mention habits and semi relevant issues in a paragraph, then start your paragraphs after writing this.
  • He was advised about his ….. (use the passive voice when the patient is the object of the sentence)

This morning, Mrs denton reported to me anxiously as his acne has worsened ans has become infected as a result he now has fever.I am wondering whether he is taking action against my advice or not. However,his mother is also very concerned and both of them want specialist opinion.

  • Infected and as a result, he is suffering from fever now (a better sentence structure)

In the light of the above,I therefore am referring Mr Denton into your care for further investigations and treatment of worsened acne.Please feel free to contact me if you require any assistance regarding this patient.

  • I am; therefore, referring (punctuation and word order)

सादर,

General practitioner.

आपके अगले पत्र के लिए व्यक्तिगत सुझाव

अपना स्कोर सुधारने के लिए आपको यह करना होगा:

  • You need to check the organization of your letter
  • Read more samples for a better sentence structure
  • Make sure your punctuation is correct and accurate
  • Use a better variety of tenses for a better score
  • Use the passive voice to keep the patient always the most important point
  • Revise to avoid simple mistakes

कोई भी अनुमानित ग्रेड स्कोर आपके द्वारा हमें प्रदान की गई जानकारी पर आधारित है, हालांकि आपका स्कोर हमेशा कार्य और लेखन के समय की परिस्थितियों के आधार पर भिन्न होगा।

ESTIMATED GRADE: C+

स्कोर पर टिप्पणियाँ

समग्र कार्य पूर्ति – 4

आपने कार्य को प्रबंधित करने और जानकारी को तार्किक तरीके से व्यवस्थित करने की क्षमता दिखाई है, लेकिन जानकारी के क्रम में कुछ गलतियाँ हैं। व्याकरण की महत्वपूर्ण त्रुटियाँ और अशुद्धियाँ लक्षित पाठक पर नकारात्मक प्रभाव डालती हैं। आप पत्र की शैली से स्पष्ट रूप से परिचित हैं, लेकिन आवश्यक भाषा पर आपका पर्याप्त नियंत्रण नहीं है।

भाषा की उपयुक्तता – 4

आपने ऐसी शब्दावली और लहज़ा चुना है जो आम तौर पर लक्षित पाठक और संचार कार्य के लिए उपयुक्त है। कुछ अशुद्धियाँ संचार में बाधा नहीं डालती हैं। कुल मिलाकर, पत्र अच्छी तरह से व्यवस्थित नहीं है।

उत्तेजना की समझ – 4

आप कार्य और इनपुट की समझ प्रदर्शित करते हैं जो आम तौर पर सटीक होती है। कई मुख्य बिंदुओं को स्पष्ट रूप से समझाया गया है और उचित मात्रा में प्रमुखता दी गई है। आपको प्रासंगिक, अर्ध प्रासंगिक और अप्रासंगिक जानकारी निर्धारित करनी चाहिए। महत्वपूर्ण जानकारी का चयन करें

भाषाई विशेषताओं पर नियंत्रण (व्याकरण और सामंजस्य) – 4

आपने जानकारी को जोड़ने के लिए अनेक उपकरणों का प्रयोग किया है, तथा काल, उपपद और निष्क्रिय वाच्य के संबंध में कुछ त्रुटियाँ हैं।

Control of Presentation Features (Spelling, Punctuation and Layout) – 5

आपने एक अच्छा लेआउट चुना है, लेकिन इसमें कुछ विराम चिह्न और शब्द निर्माण संबंधी गलतियाँ हैं

नमूना उत्तर

आपको इंटरनेट पर नमूना उत्तरों का एक बड़ा चयन मिलेगा, हालाँकि इसके लिए आपको कुछ फेसबुक समूहों में शामिल होना पड़ सकता है। हालाँकि हम अपनी वेबसाइट पर कुछ उदाहरण जोड़ रहे हैं (नियमित रूप से) और आप उन्हें निम्नलिखित लिंक के तहत पा सकते हैं:

दवा: https://oetspeaking.com/oetwriting/oet-letter-writing/medicine/

अतिरिक्त सामग्री

आपको और बेहतर बनाने में सहायता करने के लिए हम आपको दो लिंक प्रदान करने में प्रसन्न होंगे, जिससे यह सुनिश्चित होगा कि आप OET पत्र लेखन कार्य के बारे में अधिक जागरूक हैं।

आपको OET लेखन मार्गदर्शिका इस लिंक पर मिलेगी: https://oetspeaking.com/oetwriting/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/OET_Writing_Guide.pdf

साथ ही OET पत्र लेखन सामान्य टिप्स इस लिंक पर उपलब्ध हैं: https://oetspeaking.com/oetwriting/wp-content/uploads/2018/06/OET-Letter-General-Tips.pdf

कोई प्रश्न

आपको इंटरनेट पर नमूना उत्तरों का एक बड़ा चयन मिलेगा, हालांकि आपको इसकी आवश्यकता हो सकती है; कृपया सहायता के लिए हमारे फेसबुक समूह में शामिल होने पर विचार करें: https://www.facebook.com/groups/oetwritingcorrectionservice/

आपको आधिकारिक OET वेबसाइट पर नमूना उत्तरों का एक बड़ा चयन मिलेगा। मेरा सुझाव है कि आप वहां ब्राउज़ करें।

पत्र भेजना

पत्र भेजना: हम सुधार के लिए सभी OET पत्रों का स्वागत करते हैं, जिन्हें विशेष रूप से निर्दिष्ट ई-मेल पते पर ई-मेल द्वारा भेजा जा सकता है कार्य@macscottech.com.

हम इस बात पर बल देना चाहते हैं कि आपको ईमेल में कुछ महत्वपूर्ण जानकारी शामिल करनी होगी, ये हैं: ऑर्डर आईडी, पत्र संख्या, सेवा प्रकार और आपका नाम।

यहाँ एक उदाहरण है:

78901, 2, स्टैंडर्ड, मोहम्मद यूसुफ.

यह इतना सरल है!

नई प्रणाली के अंतर्गत, आपको अपना ई-मेल प्राप्त होने के कुछ ही मिनटों के भीतर एक सामान्य स्वतः उत्तर प्राप्त हो जाएगा।

कृपया अपने पत्र एक-एक करके या एक ही समय में भेजने में संकोच न करें, निर्णय आपका है।

ईमेल में उपरोक्त जानकारी के साथ अपना पत्र भेजने में विफलता

इसके परिणामस्वरूप आपके पत्र पर सुधार हेतु कार्रवाई नहीं की जाएगी।

व्याकरण पाठ

Active and Passive Verb Formation

In writing a referral letter it is necessary to use a variety of verb forms including both active and passive verbs. Using active verbs is good when you wish to create a personal tone or impart subjective information. However, passive verbs and sentence structures enable the writer to be more objective and focus attention on what is most important in a sentence such as the patient, procedures and treatment rather than on themselves.
Compare

  1. I advised the patient to stop smoking.
  2. The patient was advised to stop smoking (focus on the patient)
  1. I advised her to do bed exercises to prevent further complications such as deep vein thrombosis.
  2. Bed exercises were advised to prevent further complications such as deep vein thrombosis.(focus on the treatment)
  1. You need to take Flucloxacillin capsules twice a day for a duration of 2 weeks.
  2. Flucloxacillin capsules need to be taken twice a day for a duration of 2 weeks.(focus on the medication)

To form the passive, use the be verb (be, is/ are; was/were; has been/have been) + past participle as described in the table below.

ActivePassive
Present simple The patient takes aspirin daily.Present simple Aspirin is taken daily.
Present simple continuous The patient is taking aspirin daily.Present simple continuous Aspirin is being taken daily.
Past simple The patient took aspirin daily. The patient took 3 tablets daily.Past simple Aspirin was taken daily. 3 tablets were taken daily.
Past simple continuous The patient was taking aspirin daily.Past simple continuous Aspirin was being taken daily.
Present perfect The patient has taken aspirin daily for a period of one year. The patient has taken aspirin, noten and normison for a period of one year.Present perfect Aspirin has been taken daily for a period of one year. Aspirin, noten and normison have been taken for a period of one year.
Present perfect continuous The patient has been taking aspirin daily.Present perfect continuous Nil: This form is rarely used in the passive.
Past perfect The patient had taken aspirin daily for a period of one year. The patient had taken aspirin, noten and normison for a period of one year.Past perfect Aspirin had been taken daily for a period of one year. Aspirin, noten and normison had been taken for a period of one year.
Past perfect continuous The patient had been taking aspirin daily.Past perfect continuous Nil: This form is rarely used in the passive.
Future The patient will take aspirin in the eveningFuture Aspirin will be taken in the evening.
Modal form The patient should have taken aspirin in the evening.Modal form Aspirin should have been taken in the evening.

Please review the list of common mistakes below.

ग़लतसही
She was performed a colostomy accompanied with a partial bowel resection.A colostomy was performed with a partial bowel resection. A colostomy was performed on the patient by the doctor with a partial bowel resection. The first example is better as it more concise and also it is obvious the roles of patient and doctor so it is unnecessary to state them.
As per the doctor’s order, we were organized daily home visits.As per the doctor’s order, daily home visits were organized. (passive) As per the doctor’s order, we organised daily home visits. (active) Both sentences are grammatically correct but the first example is preferred because it focuses attention on the procedure.
On 9.7.06 he was presented to me for his regular check up.On 9.7.06, he presented to me for his regular check up. (active) Active voice is preferred here as the patient is the subject and most likely presented himself.
On the subsequent visit the treatment options was discussed.On the subsequent visit, the treatment options were discussed. Because the noun is plural the plural verb “were” is required.
She had done colonoscopy 3 years ago.A colonoscopy was done 3 years ago. She had a colonoscopy done 3 years ago. In these sentences it is unimportant who performed the colonoscopy so passive voice is used.
Initially, she came to me on 14/01/2006 for a general check up and was found her blood pressure 160/90.Initially, she came to me on 14/01/2006 for a general check up and her blood pressure was found to be 160/90. After the conjunction and a subject is required.
In addition, her baby will need to monitor his growth and general health conditionIn addition, the baby’s growth and general health condition will need to be monitored Future form of the passive.
Noten 50mg 1/2 tablet daily was prescribed while Zocor and Calcium Caltrate were continued taking.Noten 50mg 1/2 tablet daily was prescribed while Zocor and Calcium Caltrate were continued to be taken
Today at my surgery attended Mr. Attard complaining of pain in his upper left molar.Today, Mr. Attard attended surgery complaining of pain in his upper left molar. Use active form here as you need to focus on your patient, not your surgery

हम आपको अपने कौशल को सुधारने और वांछित ग्रेड प्राप्त करने में मदद करने के लिए विशेषज्ञ OET लेखन मूल्यांकन प्रदान करते हैं।

 

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hi_INHI

यह वेबसाइट आपके अनुभव को बेहतर बनाने के लिए कुकीज़ का उपयोग करती है। हम मान लेंगे कि आप इसके साथ सहमत हैं, लेकिन आप चाहें तो ऑप्ट-आउट कर सकते हैं। स्वीकार करना और पढ़ें